I've realized something these past few days, and it's something that runs through everyone's mind at some point in time. Our "first love" what do they mean to us? Why are they so important? How come whenever we meet someone new we compare them to that first person? It's simple really....the word first...they were the ones to teach us about who we want when it comes to truly loving someone.
I have been thinking about this because recently my first love contacted me after over a year of no contact. Strange huh? First let me explain everything...we can call this person "N"....so N and I were together a little over a year most of which had been long distance due to the fact that N was doing Ministry work a a college about 5 hours from myself. We had made this part of our relationship work wonderfully, in fact we grew closer togather because it. Everything was going right in our relationship, and shortly after we started dating we both fell in love with eachother, it was really the best relationship in the entire world. I couldn't have been happier, however God had other plans. About 3 weeks after dating for a year N was feeling that we were not spiritually matched up, and honestly I felt it too. When we were discussing this N decided to say some comments that belittled my father, and family's, view on what Christianity was. This broke my heart, to have someone who I loved so much say these things about the family who in their lifetime have done nothing but good things, and who I care so much about. This ended my first love....after that every date, gettogather, and social outing was compared to that first love. Lately I had just started to become comfortable with who I am alone....then recently I start receiving text messages from N who I can tell is making small talk, but I want nothing to do with him. My heart breaks more when I see these messages because the memories he gave me were the best ones I have received, and I can't stand them because I know we can't go back to where we were when we were happy.
So first loves suck....end of story...unless you are currently happy with your first love more power to you...so stop the small talk and leave me alone because even though I hate it I still love you....
